The Danny Fund

http://thedannyfund.org/

Today Brian called at a friend's house to pick up gift for the boys and a gift card from The Danny Fund to the boys (and us) to celebrate 'guilt free' over the holidays.  We are not to use it for copays or bills.  It is such a wonderful gesture!  My favorite gift, however, was the news that the money that was raised at the Super Sammy Dance Festival Day...previously mentioned - orange T-shirts everywhere...TV interviews...donations from the kids etc. was being used to help three families in need. 

I cannot express how good it felt to be helping someone else.  Knowing that we are not just 'taking' from others, but also contributing again.  It is especially important that it is through the Danny Fund as they really help keep people afloat when health issues threaten to rip family finances apart.  We could not have stayed financially afloat without their help. 

Now, am I glad for the wrong reasons, I ask myself?  Do I dislike my inability to cope on my own so much, I jump at the chance to help others to make myself feel better?  Looking inward, really going deep inside myself, I think I do feel a sense of relief we are able to be 'helpers' rather than 'takers'.  Does that make me a bad person?  Not sure...but this is my reflection:  when one goes through more than one can usually cope with, it is a necessary survival strategy to welcome the aid and generosity of others.  My dear friend, Gina, who has been through this herself, told me in the very early days, "Take all the help you can get and give back later. People genuinely want to help you."   I have never taken this help and love for granted, but,boy, it sure feels better to be on the giving side again. 

So, to psycho-analyze myself a little further...I don't think I'm a bad person, just a relieved mother.  We are at a different stage and can be more aware of others again.  I am seeing HUGE lists of people to thank....all of whom I intended to immediately and then got sidetracked by yet another bad phase or reaction to meds.  I have not got that excuse any more.  I am free to be me again to a much greater extent.

Therefore, I am now a "helper with a need for some help".  I am a "friend who needs her good friends also"....I am a mother of a very sick child who is coming through the other side of Hell and can understand what it is like to be there...I can help...I can empathize...I can DO something for others...I can be ME!  Thank you, Danny Fund, for giving me the gift of feeling like ME again.