Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving Day.  An American holiday which I have celebrated over the past 15 years.  I enjoy going to my in-laws and seeing my extended American family.  I miss my British family, but it doesn't his me as hard as Christmas, the holiday I have celebrated all my life.

Thanksgiving is a nice holiday where people gather and enjoy one another's company.  It is, in fact, a lot less commercial than Christmas, which I appreciate!  But the best thing about Thanksgiving, for me, is that I get to really be thankful.  I am one of the luckiest mummy's in the world.  I have both my boys with me....and I almost didn't!

You know about Sammy, but Jack was no walk in the park either!  He decided to come out after just 24 weeks gestation, so I fought to keep him growing inside me with Magnesium, a Terbutaline pump and months of bed-rest.  We made it to 36 weeks and only a few days in the NICU after some complications from the emergency C-section!  At five years old, Jack was diagnosed with Bacterial Meningitis.  He had an emergency lumbar puncture and, after 10 days in hospital, we administered medications via a picc line in his chest.  He and Sammy both have neck and chest scars from their lines.

With our crazy battles to keep our children healthy, I really do appreciate spending today with my sons.

• I am thankful for the excess laundry I do with two boys who can always find the dirtiest place to play
• I am thankful that I get prodded awake in the wee hours of the morning to tell someone they are okay after a nightmare
• I am thankful that I have to say no to social events because my kids need me for one of their events
• I am thankful that I have been known to have a mini-meltdown as I work out how to get my kids to tidy up
• I am thankful that I can hardly type because Sammy has just sat down next to me, pinning down my right arm and chattering away as he plays his allotted time on the Wii 

There are so many other things I take for granted too often these days but I am reminded just how lucky I am today.  I am with my boys, I'm about to make a dish to take to the family gathering, and I am complete....not sane by any means (but that is because I'm a mom).  

                                             Happy Thanksgiving one and all!  

Giving Thanks and Celebrating

We have just had the most amazing couple of days for many reasons.  Firstly, we were able to be truly thankful that Sam and Jack were able to enjoy Thanksgiving in a regular way...no fears about neutropenia, fevers, or admissions.  We were also spending Thanksgiving with MANY family members who were flying in from all over the country as well as driving great distances.  And finally, we were going to host all those wonderful people for the Jack and Sammy Celebration the next day.

Everything was wonderful: great food, company and spirits.  The youngest children, the new generation of cousins, bonded beautifully.  Our generation marveled at our being the parents, and the older generations enjoyed watching the little ones have so much fun.  It really was everything a Thanksgiving should be.  We even got to celebrate Sam and Jack's Great-grandmother Lulu's 90th birthday!!!

The Jack and Sammy Celebration was also fantastic.  Once again the little ones bonded and solidified their relationships.  Cousins and their spouses chilled out with a few drinks, some silly card games, a game of "Shot Checkers" and also enjoyed playing with the kids.  Jack and Sam enjoyed being the hosts...the mimosas flowed (not with the kids) and the party was ON!  I'm going to let the pictures tell you the rest.

Playing football

Sad when you can't run as fast as your little cousins :(

Jack and his cousins

The Lego Tower of Thanksgiving!

Forming the new band

Big cousin makes Sammy a flying Space-ship...much cooler than an airplane

Generations

Lulu looking very good!

My special boy, Jack

Cute!

Celebration cake

Together!

Brothers forever!

Big and little cuz

Our wonderful aunt and uncle

Artistic moment

The boys take a turn

More Space-ship creating....competition about to start

Beer-shot Checkers!!!

The family

Sammy's back!

LP Issues

I have been meaning to update and have even got a few entries in the editing stages about fun things such as going to Disney, LTN walk and Halloween.  However, I feel a vent coming on as my Mommy Signal is flashing like crazy due to things not going as well as usual.  Sammy had another LP the day before Thanksgiving and it did not go as well as they usually do.

To be honest, the actual procedure was event free.  We had the usual problem of Sammy's blood not coming back with the differential (the bit that tells the doctors what his ANC is - if his blood counts are high enough for him to have the chemo safely).  We have been working on this issue for months and yet, even with doctors calling and emailing the lab, nothing has changed...Sammy's blood always has to be done by hand rather than the machine....baffling everyone! 

Sammy needed a LOT of sleep medicine this time...he kept looking asleep and then waking up and panicking in case I wasn't there.  He doesn't remember this, so I know he was heavily under the influence, but it was disconcerting to say the least.  Finally he looked almost gone and I was ushered out so they could begin.  The procedure took all of 12 minutes and then Sammy slept for about an hour afterwards which meant he finally lay down for the full time needed to avoid getting headaches etc.   Things were looking good. 

The next day was Thanksgiving and we had a wonderful day at Nana and Poppa's house with family.  Sammy seemed to do really well and played with his brother and cousins as normally as any other kid.  He was tired by the end of the long day, but who wasn't?  Admittedly, Dr. Gill had given us the okay to hold off on his steroids and chemo until Friday so he could enjoy the holiday with family.

Thursday night the pain started.  I was up most of the night with Sammy feeling strange and uncomfortable...like he was on steroids but he wasn't.  Friday, he did start chemo and steroids and the pain and sickness progressively got worse.  We called CHAM and Dr. Levy told us this was fairly normal after an LP and the steroids exacerbate it.  We must have been lucky not to have had it so bad before.  We were to treat with Codine for pain and call if things got worse. 

Although Sammy certainly played with Jack and even had a play fight with Daddy, his ups and downs have been very dramatic and overall the pain day and night have been awful.    Today we are watching closely and will call CHAM to see if we need to bring Sammy there in the morning.  We think we will be told to wait it out and that it is just par for the course.  I guess we have been very lucky recently...this was our standard day just a few months ago, now I am freaking out and feeling major panic...not that I didn't back then either, but I just got used to not panicking so much. 

The worst has been the waiting for results from the LP due to the holidays and the recurring dreams of loosing Sam.  I know my mind is both extremely fatigued from lack of sleep over the last 3 weeks (Brian had surgery so I've been the one doing all day and night duty), but also because I am anxious and probably over-thinking everything.  We have had a very good run over the last couple of months, and my biggest fear is it all crumbling around us.