Light the Night

Superman Sammy was a wonderful Honored Patient at this year's Light the Night walk at Playland.  We had so many people come to support us, including friends form work, our neighborhood (even  though many had moved away), and as far as from California and Florida!!!  There were many orange t. shirts showing Sammy much love that night.

LPAC danced again and wowed the audience, and the overall turnout was excellent.  We have raised $8500 to date and there is more to come.

Sammy was cold and tired by the time he needed to go on stage...we had partied the night before with all our friends from near and far...so he was not as on form as usual once on stage.  He did well, however, and I spoke for him and talked about our journey, and how much I want the road we are all traveling on to be CLOSED for good...no more cancer!!!

Sammy and I had been videoed earlier in the day to promote LTN and Sammy was also interviewed by News 12 Westchester.  He really is getting to be an old pro at the celebrity thing!

Walking was wonderful, surrounded by so many people who were there to support us as well as the Warriors.  Peter had returned home from college to be there and was as much an inspiration as ever.  He really is the vision of hope that drives parents forward.

Final numbers and amounts have yet to be counted..I will let you know as soon as they are.  But for now, here are some pictures of the night:

I Cried Today

I don't know what makes a day one of those days, but today was a humdinger of a day.  Last night I was so tired...you know, that tired to the bone, desperate for sleep kind of tired that makes you grumpy and a little high-strung.  Who am I kidding?   I've felt like that for months....it's part of the journey I'm on with my family and dear old cancer!

Anyway, I digress.  So last night, tired beyond reason, I sat in the kitchen comforting my amazingly strong son who had just HAD ENOUGH:  Sam is sick and tired of the treatment, fed up with not being 'normal'.  He says he is not a 'normal kid'.  He says he wants to be able to play and chase his friends at recess.  He says he wishes he had never had cancer, as it is too much now.

I validated everything, no sugar-coating, just plain agreeing with him.  It sucks, stinks, feels like crap, blah, blah, blah.  (My words, not his...."Cancer is stupid" is Sam's release....my real release words would make this blog R rated!  We are getting closer to the end of treatment, but tell a kid he has at least five more months to go and it doesn't register the same way it does to all our well-wishers.  It still seems like forever, and so much of his life has revolved around not being normal (his words).

Sam also showed how much things are getting to him when Leslie, his psychologist, had the session with him in the clinic.  Playing doctor often helps in a therapeutic way.  Sam has a monkey he looks after and often works on 'teaching' the monkey how to cope with the treatments he gets from Sam.  This visit was remarkably different: instead of helping the monkey feel better, Sam stuck the needle in the monkey's eyes, nose, ears...basically anywhere it would hurt, and with no plan to calm the monkey before treatment.

So, back to today:  I drove to school with the sunglasses hiding my tears, blamed allergies as kind colleagues checked in with me, and sucked it up and gave it my all once the students were in the classroom.  Only those closest to me knew what was going on.

This is a crying day....I have them....I will continue to have them spring up and surprise me for many years to come, I'm sure.  I hope Sammy does not continue to have them once treatment is over, and I won't let him know if I do.

Why share this?  'Cos I'm a sap!   No, it's because the people reading this who are in my shoes will relate and understand, they might feel better about their own crying days, they might give themselves a break and let it go...it happens.  I still feel like crying, the day is not yet over.  Tomorrow, however, is another day.

Postaweek2011 - I Hope I Never Lose...

Here is my next random post of the week...inspired by a prompt on Plinky:
I hope I never lose my appreciation for the life I have. Although there are many major setbacks, particularly with my own child’s health, I am blessed with a wonderful family, friendships and relative stability. I live in a wealthy nation, I am educated, and I never go hungry. While I could look at those with more and feel slighted, I don’t. I really do understand how lucky I am, and I never want to lose that.

When we go through hardships, friends can be so crucial to both mental and physical survival. Relying on others can also have a negative effect; one feels helpless, useless, a pain in the neck. Yet, if we really stop for a moment and give ourself time to realize it is okay to accept the help of others, two things happen: first of all, those helping feel good about doing it, and secondly, there will be a time when the need for support lessens and one can ‘give back’ in some way.

So what is my point? Well, I have learned many lessons related to all of this in the past year. I have accepted help and now have several projects in motion to ‘give back’. When I saw the prompt about what I hope I never lose, my answer came instantly to me. I have perspective and appreciation for life which, only a year ago, I would never have imagined having.